Incident Report: The Infinite Loop Fiasco

Summary

At precisely 2:22 PM, Luke, FDG's valiant head scripter, began deploying the beta version of the dispatch script. Spirits were high, and everything seemed to be on track for a smooth rollout. But, as fate would have it, the deployment gods had other plans.

What Went Wrong

In the name of server optimization and probably a touch of overconfidence, a fateful decision was made: the on-call lead developer, kn0pee, together with Luke and a trusted advisory council of Martibo and Snakey, agreed to tweak the update intervals.

The goal? Smoother operations and fewer server hiccups.
The reality? A disaster so spectacular it could have been a plotline in a tech sitcom.

The plan was simple—until a rogue series of unfortunate script line deletions crept in. These deletions included the critical wait line inside a while true loop. What should have been an elegant, measured flow of updates became an unstoppable, ravenous code beast.

The Fallout

• The server locked itself in an existential crisis, spinning in an infinite loop faster than a hamster on a caffeine overdose.
• Players across the FDG community were collectively booted into the digital void as the server sighed its last functional breath.
• Chaos ensued. Voices echoed in the distance:
  • “What just happened?”
  • “Luke, you broke it again!”

Resolution

Recognizing the code catastrophe, the team sprang into action. With the speed of a thousand hotfixes, the server was restarted. Miraculously, all services returned to normal, and the players were reunited with their beloved FDG world.

Lessons Learned

1. Infinite Loops = Infinite Pain: Always include a wait statement in loops. It’s not just best practice—it’s the difference between functioning servers and mass chaos.
2. Peer Review, Please: Advisory groups are great, but maybe double-check each other’s work next time?
3. Testing is Not Optional: Test in a controlled environment, not live servers. This isn’t a video game speedrun.
4. Luke’s Law: If it can break, Luke will find a way to break it. (Luke, we still love you, though.)

Conclusion

Despite the temporary setback, FDG’s resilience shone through. Let this serve as a humorous yet cautionary tale for all developers: check your loops, test your scripts, and never underestimate the power of a single missing line of code.

Here’s to fewer loops, smoother deployments, and more epic stories for future incident reports.